a good summary

Philipians 3:12
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me His own.

This is a big part of the reason that I came to the ranch. I remember while I was in Seattle, on our 8 hour lay over, I was hanging out with some friends that drove out to see me. Honestly a majority of the time was filled with ridiculous joking and just a laid back time, not much was really said about me going to Africa. However I remember on our way up the steps at the airport my buddy Cam got serious, he reminded me that before I left I had said that I felt like I needed to get out for a while. In all my excitement to get back to the Northwest, because it is the best place in the world, I had completely forgotten that I had that feeling. So when he said this to me I was taken back and replied with "I did?" Then I suddenly remembered that feeling of being depressed and confused, knowing that this Christianity thing had to be more personal, more real, then what it was in my life, but not knowing how to make it that way. So I knew what didn't work, I knew that Christianese didn't work, I knew that those camp highs that I used to get were nothing more then a feeling that I created that vanished once the world hit, I knew all the right answers but I did not know how it practically worked, how it really looked, and being a practical guy this was a problem. So this is the reason that I said this to Cam, sick of a lot of things, depressed, confused and longing for more I was ready to make this Christian thing my own. However I couldn't have been more wrong.
As I have said many times the biggest part about being here was the fact that God showed up, the fact that I care now. I am not one to pretend to care about something, so the fact that I do now means that something real happened, it means that God showed up and showed me what it is like to have a relationship with him. He gave me that Joy that I was looking for. He showed up and He did great things in my life not the other way around. So when I say I was wrong I mean that Christ Jesus made me His own not I made this my own. With this in mind the future does not scare me, I actually kind of look forward to the rough times, I really look forward to going home, finally knowing this truth, I may not have grown in a lot of ways, but God pursued me He made me His own and outside of that I could care less. Now this is getting long so I will wrap it up.
For a couple of months now I have been thinking about God in the old testament. I have a hard time understanding the meaning of a lot of it but the one thing that I did catch was how God always says to the Israelites, I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt. I was honestly shocked when I read how many times He says that to them, it got to the point where I was like "Ok ya we get it God you did that, but that was a while ago, and you have brought it up a thousand times." As if every time you bring something up it loses its value. However I now understand the importance of this, that when God, who is so big that we will never be able to comprehend, who is the creator and in the words of pastor John God who is Lord of the Universe, when He moves you pay attention and you don't ever forget it.  Through the good times you let it humble you and through the hard times you cling onto it. Well this time for me as I look back on it was when God made himself known to me, when he made himself real, when he brought me out of Egypt if you will. So as I think about this verse and about going home I get excited, excited to see what God has next.